Closure Part 1

"As ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort...” - Alma 18: 8-9

"It is a ward with members who are following the admonition of Alma and the Savior—members who care and love and bear one another’s burdens, members who are willing to mourn with those that mourn, members who are willing to comfort those in need of comfort, members who endure together." - Richard C. Edgley

On the 18th of October I awoke to a strong feeling. "Go see your patriarch." Because of the way I live my life, I don't often get promptings from the Holy Ghost. This is a trade off I sadly have agreed to and hope one day to fix. But when I do get a really strong prompting - I act. Saturday was booked solid with post hole digging and birthday celebrations. I decided to go on Sunday. I skipped out on a fireside date (with a super cute girl) and drove back to my homeland to see my Patriarch. I knew he had been sick for some time, but as I locked up my truck, stuffed my keys in my pocket and moseyed toward the front door, I was stopped by a friend and told the news: Patriarch was diagnosed with Leukemia on the 16th. He was given 4 weeks to live.

I mustered up my courage and went into the house. We talked. I listened and he shared just that last breath of life with me. After a few hours, my time was spent and it was time to journey back to my home. I promised to return in two weeks.

Just 10 days after my visit, My Patriarch died.
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My mother died 5 years ago this past July. From the date of the first diagnosis to the date of death we spent 8 months together. And then she was gone. I spoke at her funeral giving the eulogy she requested (not the one I wanted to give) and then I stopped going to funerals all together. My mother would be my last if I had my way. And then it happened: Someone else had the nerve to die - to leave me and this earth and to return to our loving Heavenly Father. I was left empty. I refused to go to the funeral. I didn't want to rehash the memories of my mother's funeral. So I suffered in silence and away from the smells of death. I avoided it and I never got better.

Since her death, I have been to five funerals, either in person or via satellite transmission. (I went to this one and this one via Satellite)

On Friday, I will go to one more.
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I have found in my life the importance of others. In Moroni 6:5 we read "the church did meet together oft, to fast and to pray, and to speak one with another concerning the welfare of their souls." I have found that there is great closure in meeting together as a church and as friends and as family and to care for the soul. I know the importance their in lies to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort. I know that for me, this is the only way I can receive closure.
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On Friday, I will awake and again return to my homeland. I will dress in my best and I will sit in my seat and ponder the life of my Patriarch. He gave me, and my mother, our Patriarchal Blessings. He prayed and fasted and then he laid his hands upon my head and told me the essential items in my life. Who I am. What lineage I came from. Lastly, what blessings are in store in this life if I will but simply obey God's commandments. But he did more than that. He also was a trusted family friend that we could call on in case we needed a healing blessing. He blessed my mom prior to nearly every surgery. He was there in that noisy ER room back in 2003 calling down the angels of heaven to guide me and keep me, just moments before I was rushed into the OR for an emergency appendectomy. He taught me about model trains and about the joys of family history work. And lastly, he was always in the temple when I was there, which brought me comfort. I missed being in the temple with my mother. It was nice to be there with one of her heroes.

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On Friday, after someone struggles to to summarize my Patriarch's life into just an hour, I will rise to my feet and watch as my friend and my Patriarch is wheeled out. And then the closure will begin. For as the congregation leaves their respective pews - we will comfort one another; we will mourn with one another, and we will endure together. I will miss my patriarch, but I know he has gone on to bless the lives of others, just as he has blessed my life and the life of my family.